Saturday, September 17, 2011

A Pirate and a Prick


Normally I just post the moronic bios single men have online. Today I'm going to tell you about my speed dating pathetic situation this past week.

Besides the fact that the company doesn't require that the ages listed for the event actually are adhered to I was subjected to a guy who decided it was funny and appropriate to show up in his Medieval Times Pirate costume.

This was a moment I thought was always dramatized for the movies, for that funny moment. But alas, it was real. When it was his turn to come around to me he was so pushy and upset that I had nothing to say to him and demanded an answer as to why.

Hmmm, let's see: You showed up in a costume that is for your lame job and used a fake accent. You don't take yourself seriously nor the situation or the other person so tell me why should I?

Worse, after the entire event, even though some woman seemed to be willing to talk with him, he decided to follow me out, actually chase me out on the street screaming my name telling me how mean and judgmental I am.

Can we barf now?

Onto the prick. BTW he lives in Queens, somehow has a son and is already divorced about a year even though that son is only 3years old. We both agreed to want to talk further so our names were sent to each other through the site we used for the dating event.

Let's see what I learned:
He has a potty mouth and says really gross immature things and talked about a supposed female friend and didn't have nice things to say about her. Hmmm Thought it was funny to talk about friends with benefits. Divulged that his wife "did something very wrong" which is why he gets to see his son so much more now.

Oh and the cherry on top was the following. He wanted to go out tonight, asking me late on a Friday BUT he wanted me to make plans with him but not solid plans and I should be ok with this because he had possibly plans and if they came through then we would not go out.

When I said no you could hear a pin drop. From that point on I got "ah huh" "Yep" and "ok"
I mean really how dare I have a life. How dare I have plans for myself and not drop them for him when he is not willing to do the same for me. Apparently Sunday wasn't good enough to make plans when neither of us had other thing already scheduled. Instead I got this lovely email today:

"I think I am going to pass on us meeting tomorrow evening.
I actually enjoyed our conversation but I think you took my hesitation for making plans tonight due to being waitlisted for a singles party on LI the wrong way. I had no intention of making you "sloppy seconds" or however you phrased it.

More so, I was actually a little put off on your, "you buy I fly". I definitely have no problem taking us out but when someone tells me before we've even been on 1 date that she dosen't pay for dates, it came across as pretty selfish. I work for the City, I have an (almost) 3 year old and since this is 2011, I think if both parties work that the guy should not always be obligated to pay 100% of the time. I am more than generous but I actually just ended it with someone I met earlier this Summer who never even offered to buy me so much as a bottle of water at a ballgame. I think you see my point. "

Booo hooo dad of a three year old who's divorced....thinks women should buy water for him and if he doesn't he dumps her. LOSER!

So here is what I wrote back:

I'm actually glad you canceled. I think you're an asshole.
You don't like women, and you think we should be available at your whim. You made a lot of very immature comments that by your age should not be coming out of your mouth.

You are so disrespectful. The comment about your ex wife was so rude and nasty. I feel badly for her.


Any woman with self respect will run from you. If you think I or any woman should sit around being available in case your plans fall through you really have your head up your ass.

BTW real men pay for dates and don't get offended by the "you buy I fly".

So fuck off.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

This Is What I'm Subjected To! Seriously Aren't There Any Normal Decent Mature Jewish Men In NYC?

I received this reply in my dating email box today:
"Hello,
I was just wondering if you are a fan of smoking marijuana? if you are maybe we should chat? aaron"


ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC! REALLY?!? OF ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT FOR A CONNECTION HIS DRUGS ARE FIRST CHOICE ABOVE THEM! LOSER!