Sunday, January 22, 2012

Hurry Up and Speed Date

Yes I went to a speed dating event this past week. I try to remain upbeat and positive but it really does get harder and harder to pump myself up to upbeat and positive when the same 20 men show up to these events and they are socially retarded and ageist pigs.

I'd really like to know how much longer I am supposed to be the bigger one sitting at the dating table when I am asked "How long have you lived in NYC?"

For all the clueless women out there who just don't get what is wrong with that question let me make it clear to you. Asking HOW LONG you lived anywhere is a way to ask you without being blunt, " How old are you?"

It's ageist and rude.

So I think that the single guys of NYC better watch out because the very next one that asks me that question is going to see a ruler pulled out from my bag. It will be marked with a BLACK SHARPIE with an arrow pointing to the number ----> 6 inches.  And my answer is going to be, " I have a better question for you Sir. Can you tell me if you measure up before I waste any of my time talking with you further?"

Let me be clear, I'm not looking for perfect. It is a pathetic fairy-tale that doesn't exist. I'm looking for a good guy with shared values that makes me laugh and is easy to get along with and have fun with.

Instead I'm paying to go to these Hurry Up (that's kind of the name of the organization hint hint) Speed Dates where closeted gay men that were the doppleganger for Sue Heck's gay boyfriend Brad showed up along with pompous ass "physicians" who didn't have a lick of interest in what I did for a living and while I was in mid-sentence looked at the women sitting next to me and tuned me out.

One of my favorite moments of the night was recognizing a gentleman but not being able to remember why. Apparently he remembered me too. He refused to sit with me when it was our turn. And then I remembered and I leaned to the woman sitting next to me and told her I had met him a few months ago from online dating. While he invited me to a restaurant at 6pm, dinner time, he didn't want to leave the bar area. He texted me ahead of time that I should get him a beer before he showed up and then talked incessantly talked about some bullshit writing project of his that was about to make him a ton of money. After an hour I had enough and said nice to meet you and ended the date. He didn't walk me the three blocks to the train and I nicely emailed him that I thought we'd make nice friends. But I guess that makes me a nasty person in his eyes unworthy of being civil to at a Hurry Up and Speed Date event.


And while the pirate didn't show up to this event the Prick did.

Monday, January 9, 2012

MEN SHOULD ALWAYS PAY FOR A DATE! PERIOD! There is no wiggle room in this!

I had a shitty date last night with a man from one of my meetup.com groups. Although he asked me out for a drink, he showed up about 10 minutes late. I being a modern woman ordered myself a drink and laid down a $20. But the bartender did not take my money. I thought it was weird especially since it wasn't very busy. Low and behold my "date" comes in, the bartender takes his order and then picks up MY $20 and asks if he should take both out of it. 

I was very annoyed. And there were other things this man did that were just gross that night as well. I gave him an hour and got out of there.

When I got home I emailed with a male FB friend who informed me I was wrong to be pissed about the money situation and told me it should be Dutch and women should never assume that a man should pay.

So let me just say to that male friend that 
A) NEVER argue with a woman that just had a bad date. 
B) You're STILL wrong.

And see how others felt about this as well.

    • C -That's ridiculous! How dare both of them do that?? The bartender should've taken the $$ before the guy got there, and the guy should've just spoken up & said, "No, I got both of them" & easily taken care of it. :(
      22 hours ago · 
    • X- ‎@ C: EXACTLY!!!!!!!!
      22 hours ago · 
    • C- Makes you wonder if he intended to pay for anything at all, even his own stuff?? Did he mention anything about "going dutch" or similar beforehand? (not that he's gonna get many second dates with anybody that way... not a great 1st impression.) Was it a setup w/the bartender perhaps? Dislike!
      21 hours ago · 
    • X He never mentioned anything beforehand. I would have told him i was b. had he done so.
      21 hours ago · 
    • Ass!
      19 hours ago via mobile · 
    • S-Wow that takes balls. A gentleman should have picked up your money and handed it back to you and given the bartender payment for both drinks. At the very least he should have paid fir his own drink.
      18 hours ago · 
    •  X-
       to my single male friends...now you get a bird's eye view of what women expect and think. You're welcome.
      10 hours ago · 
    • SH -(1 male friend- not the offender) I am a social dork and complete nerd but I know for sure you do not let the woman buy your drinks
      10 hours ago · 


Saturday, January 7, 2012

I'm Calling This The What The Fuck Cat

Whenever you see this photo in a post...know that a WTF moment is coming.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Love The Loser's Texts...This One Just In

Loser: Hey . Don't know if you remember , we had a 2 sentence chat on JD. Still my neighbor in ** ? Up for a drink sometime ?
Shabbat shalom.  ;-)
B.

Me: ha. i remember u.
if u want to take me out - call me & set it up

Loser: Omg. It sounds so formal. And I'm such a non formal spontaneous guy. ;-) besides I look at things a lil different. We're going out together (if we do) and not I take you out. Ha.
When is a good time to 'set it up ' for ?

Me: sorry guy! i dont do txts
if ur nt rdy to treat a women properly w/ respect & a call is too hard for u then move on
i also dont do dates w/ boys who dont understand its their role & job to take a woman out. thanks for playin. have a nice day

Thursday, January 5, 2012

This One's For The Girls

Ladies I've spent years in the dating pool. Some of those years frankly, I just gave up and didn't date. But now I'm past 35 and have some advice for you.

Don't make the mistakes I made. Unless you too want to be over 35 and still single. You young ones heed the warning. I'm all for being independent and all that happy horse shit but when it comes to men and dating you have to accept some basic truths. Things I didn't want to accept and now realize I screwed up. I read many signs wrong and that let me allow myself to date the wrong men when I was in my 20's and early 30's. I thought I was so modern. Well get over it. Men are men at the core. Let them be. If they aren't showing you how much they want to take care of you and how good a life they can give you...MOVE ON. Don't say to yourself that you're a modern woman blah blah blah! Because the only one getting played is YOU. They are loving it and taking advantage of it but they aren't gonna marry it.

Don't believe me? OK suffer.

I suggest you read Steve Harvey's Book : Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man.

I'm going to give you a few tips on some red flags. Maybe just maybe if you all start dumping men who behave like this, more men would give up on their games and step up. Win win!

Here's one I can give you straight from the latest experience I had online with a dating site:
The "gentleman" and I spoke on the phone. BLAH BLAH BLAH...all about himself. BORING. Then told me about his supposed day on 9/11.

Sorry girls but this is lame. I'm a New Yorker. I lived through that horrible day. But to use that on a first phone call is pathetic. And I'm not buying it. If a guy does this to you RUN. It's a scam to get you to feel badly for him. Do you REALLY want to be with someone who is trying to mentally manipulate you from the first call?

But it gets worse. I ignore his requests to speak and I tell him I am busy. He hounds me to please meet up. I reluctantly agree and outline only as friends and suggest coffee.

Here's the next red flag...as if that weren't enough:
He tells me to pick the location.

Ladies don't do it. Under no circumstances should you be picking a place. Not on a first date. NEVER. This is lame lame lame and LAME! Oh did I mention it was LAME! Oh and LAZY!

Men need to be showing us a good time. Yes I said NEED. It's not just for us. It's for them. They need this. They need to feel this way. And if they aren't guess what? They just aren't that into you. PERIOD. So don't make up female excuses for why this is OK with you. Men are NOT like us. They don't think like we do. In fact they don't think all that much about anything. It's much more black and white with them.

So there you have it ladies. Two solid pointers to get you started. Don't date the losers and guess what? They will stop being losers. We all win that way.

Oh yes, the ending to this saga, I almost forgot...
When I politely told him that I am traditional and believe men should be choosing the location and making the plans I got "closed."  Not another word written. Not a "good luck to ya", not a "I'm sorry I changed my mind." NOTHING.

Sunday, January 1, 2012