I dated this man for about a month:
He listed himself as athletic build but when I met him clearly he was at least 50 lbs overweight. I also think he changed his
bio recently because he had the Yankees listed and he also added: I'm looking for: a date, friend along with marriage and children, which were the only things listed before.
But here's the kicker he wrote this as well: "Communication will make or break a relationship. If you have problems communicating, get therapy and learn how to talk. There are not enough miles on earth to run, enough minutes in a lifetime to think, nor epiphanies in circulation that can benefit your mind, body, and spirit better than an honest and open conversation.Indecis ion is a relationship killer. Ambiguity and lying are close bed fellows."
This guy is the one who needs the therapy the most. He was the biggest game player, refused to communicate and at the littlest attempts to talk maturely with him he would make put downs or tell me I didn't need to say that, as in my telling him that after a few weeks of dating an invite to my home was not a sign of an invite for something sexual. I said it nicer of course.
OK so why am I writing this post. I almost got completely off topic. Well, you see the games really messed me up. As someone who truly wants to go into a relationship with openness and the best of intentions and not already wanting to believe someone is lying I let some things slide, but this was like the story of the frog in a pot. The next thing I know I'm feeling angry and hurt and disrespected. My poor friends listened to my unbalanced emotions trying to make sense of what I was feeling verses what was being said to me. BTW that's called Crazymaking and it's a legitimate term of emotional abuse.
In the effort to find some sanity for my choice in allowing this person into my life even for a brief time I - now that I'm more calm and at peace want to list the things I actually liked about this person:
He was generous, charming, and politically conservative and pro- Israel.
What I didn't like about him:
He was unstable, unreliable, played too many games ie: lying about problems with his phone and forcing me to speak to his vm and not returning texts (none of which were initiated by me on a daily basis mind you), which leads to more games of control issues, and he is a coward.
I will never be able to understand why he said the following to me: "If that's what it takes to get you hooked on me I'll do it because I want you hooked."
I suppose he couldn't really see me as another person, which allowed him to play the games he did with no guilt. But if I could give some advice to any single men coming upon this blog it would be to remind you not to do these things. We really do not need nor want you to tell us things that aren't true. You aren't sparing our feelings. In fact by doing so you are just working an inflated ego of yours. Really we are ok if you are "just not that into us." Don't string us along.
